REGAINING YOURSELF AFTER A NASTY BREAKUP

Dear Lover,

"Sweetheart, I have something to tell, you see, after these years I realize that we are not meant to be together. I am sorry but this is not about you. Just that you are too perfect for me. I still love you so much but this isn't working, I hope we can still be friends"…..

( AKA IT IS OVER)…. And this can go either way.

And the reaction…

"After everything I did for you, you still left?"

"I gave you my heart, my body, my emotions, and my time, after this xxxxxx number of years".

"MEN ARE SCUM!!! Girls are the same"!!!

"So all these times you were professing Love and affection to me, it didn't mean anything to you?"

"I was there for you, I gave you my shoulder to cry on in your moments, my family loves you, we care for you like our own, and you still did this to me? What did I do wrong? Was it always about the money?"

The list goes on…..

How can you survive the emotional trauma? Especially when you didn't wrong them and they get up and leave just like that? When you loved them unconditionally and invested your emotions, you thought this was your last bus stop; you had hopes of a happy ending already.

Break-ups suck. No matter which way you look at it, there is an element of sadness that will usually always lead itself to a situation in which two people part ways. Sometimes they're not the nicest person and it's for the best, sometimes they were great and it's mutual, and sometimes… it might feel like neither. You could be the dumper or the dumpee, and still, feel the sting of loss.

How can you rebuild your self-esteem again? Trust me I can feel your pains

Here are a few tips that might help:

1. Take inventory of what happened; journal them. This is not an attempt to feel bad about what happened or to pat yourself on the back either. But it will help see a few things:

• Where you went wrong if possible

• What you need to work on

• How not to fall in love wrongly again

• How to wear an "emotional condom" until you are very sure

• And the kind of person you don't need.

2. Allow yourself to grieve

It might not have been the best relationship for you or perhaps your best so far. It might have been so loving or a bit toxic, and they were a bit of a jerk, or it was fantastic and you're left with unanswered questions - either way you want to look at it, most of the time there has been a loss, It is okay to cry it will help you heal faster. Grieve for but not for long.

3. Remove anything that will constantly remind you of them. Including going to your favorite places, or anything that reminds you of them.

4. Positive Affirmations: you have to keep reminding yourself that you are enough, you are not an option. You deserve the best. And you will only attract the best. Affirmations are short, positive statements that you can say to yourself daily to regain your tampered esteem. It will help you to appreciate yourself once again. Write down, your unique qualities and remind yourself of them.

5. Learn to accept your unique self.

6. Be grateful: Hmm, Mr. C, be grateful? After breaking my heart? What do I need to be grateful for I can hear you scream. Yes!!! Be grateful that you are alive, be grateful that you left whole, be grateful that you are still the most beautiful lady around, be grateful that your kind is rare, and be grateful that the best person for you is around the corner. A merry heart does well to the soul. Being grateful isn't the same as being happy, it's simply telling your brain that it is good in your life. Keeping a gratitude journal is a powerful tool that will prime your brain to look for the good in your every day.

Never forget that you are not the victim, so don't play the victim card. Accept what happened as an act of God and move on. Don't punish yourself with wrong decisions, or believe that love doesn't exist, your true love might just be watching and hoping you will notice them. But make sure you heal properly before starting another.

Still, give Love a chance…

I Love you

Mr. C cares….

Next episode; I am in a serious relationship but I just met my soulmate, what do I do…